A Guest Blog Written by My Friend Nicola Fuentes Toubia

"Finding and Following Your Path," © 2010 Nicola Fuentes Toubia

You are 37, in a life-numbing job and feeling directionless. Or, you are 52 and just got laid off from the job of your dreams. Or, you are 24 and you realized that after 2 years in corporate America it is not for you and the Bank of Mom & Dad shuttered its windows when you hit 18. Regardless of the age-differences, all of these people are at a crossroads. While the 52-year old may be the luckiest of the three because he knows what he loves to do, all three folks need to determine where they want to go and how they want to get there.

So, if you are the 37-year old or 24-year old, how do you find your path? How do determine what is going to bring you happiness and a sense of accomplishment? First, you should ask yourself how much your job and career dictate your self-esteem. You could be one of the lucky few whose sense of worth is NOT dictated by work. However, most Americans define themselves in terms of what they do. For the sake of Carla’s blog’s brevity, let’s assume that a good portion of your self-esteem comes from your job so we’ll just focus on finding your career path.

The second thing you should ask yourself is: what do you like to do? Are there any activities in your current (or past jobs) that make you happy? Also, I am not talking about what you like to do solely in terms of work. Because to find your path, you need to honestly assess what makes you happy or brings you satisfaction on a regular basis. For example, think about your average weekend. Are you running lots of errands and grousing the entire time? Or, are you visiting with family and good friends and happy? Or, are you curled up on the couch with a good book and completely content? It could be that you actually like your weekend errands because crossing them off of your to-do list brings you a good sense of accomplishment. Or, you could be the person who loves down and quiet time on the weekend.

The idea behind examining how you spend your weekend is that it tells you how YOU typically CHOOSE to spend your time. So, in trying to find your career/job path, you should look at your weekend activities and think about the ones that bring you the most pleasure. Although there currently are no long-term careers in napping, you can use your desire for rest and quiet to figure out what kind of job may be right for you. Importantly, a love of napping (and I’m being serious here) can tell you what kind of job is NOT right for you. If you like lots of down time, then working as a trader, M&A strategist, or hostess at the hottest restaurant probably is not right for you. For me, there was significant value in figuring out what I did NOT want to do.

The third thing you should examine is your values. I believe many people do not consider careers in terms of their value-system, but I think it is critical. So much of our time is spent working. If you are working at something that does not nourish your soul as much as it nourishes your intellect or talent, you are going to end up like our directionless 37-year old. If you are an environmentalist by nature, then working at Big Oil is not for you. Write down what is important to you in terms of relationships (both business and personal), society, politics and spirituality. Be honest.

Fourth, think about your skills and talents. What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses? My dream career would be to be a singer like Ella Fitzgerald, Edith Piaf or Buddy Holiday. To me, it would be nirvana to be able to voice sheer emotions to music. Alas, my singing can make grown-men cry. No joke. It’s bad. Luckily, I have many other skills and talents that allow me to feed my desire for creativity (creative thinking is an important activity for me) and make me feel like I am helping others (which is an important value for me).

Finally, to find your path, you must be HONEST with yourself and you must answer ONLY to yourself. Most people find themselves in numbing jobs with little satisfaction because they followed careers that society told them were prestigious or would generate lots of money. Now, don’t get me wrong, there is a place for prestige and money. But, if these two nouns are the only tools you used to define your path, you will wind up in trouble. The critical aspect of finding your path is really understanding: (1) what activities make you happy; (2) what your values are; and (3) your skills and talents. You have to be honest with yourself to find your path.

Now, let’s assume that you are the 52-year old. You had a job you loved and were just laid off. What to do now? Do you crumble and surrender? Do you whine about how no one will hire a 52-year old? No, no and no. You are lucky because you KNOW your path. But, if you are really lucky, you know that paths twist and turn and that your lay-off means you are just going to have to step in a different direction.

To me, following your path does not mean following a concrete highway. Rather, it means following those activities, jobs and career that bring me fulfillment and happiness at that point in time in my life. If I follow a path that is set in stone, then when life causes an earthquake that destroys my path, I will be doomed. The trick for the 52-year old is to examine what he loved about his old job and to determine how he can re-create the love – not the job because it’s gone. This can be extremely challenging in some careers. One of my best friends is a television journalist who was laid off when a major network re-vamped its news department. She absolutely loved being on-air and was devastated by the lay-off. To her credit, she has not given up on her dream job. She has written pilot television programs that showcase her skills and now has well-published blog that highlights her creativity. Is it perfect for her? Not quite, but it is right for her at the current time because it lets her take care of her personal life, which she neglected for years, while still keeping her journalism skills fresh.

The good thing about being older and knowing your path is that you know many people. Network, network, network. What if you hate networking? Well, my guess is that you are viewing networking solely as a means of advancing your career. If this is true, then no wonder you hate it. But, if you view networking as a way to meet people, keep up with friends and former colleagues, and learn new ideas, then it can open so many doors for you. My recommendation for anyone who has been laid off and KNOWS what they like to do is to start calling and taking folks to lunch who can help you. And, remember that help comes in all sizes. It may be that one of the 52-year old’s contacts gives him an idea to start his own business.

The key to following your path is to continue to look at life with fresh eyes. To be open minded to opportunities and to be persistent in what you love. If you know yourself and are honest with yourself, finding and staying on a fulfilling path is much easier.

Photo Credit: © Josunshine, Dreamstime.com